The Space Between Anger and Answer

I wanted God to explain Himself. The diagnosis had come on a Tuesday, plain and unhurried, like it hadn't just rearranged my whole life.

My first thought was a demand: why. My second thought, days later, was smaller and stranger — a willingness to just sit in the not-knowing a little longer.

Patience isn't the absence of pain. It's choosing to stay present in it without rushing to a conclusion that isn't ready yet.

I still don't have the answer. But I've stopped needing it before I'm willing to keep going.